


Forest (grove and nature reserve) of Dean

by everytuesday



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, BAMF!Hermione, Even if Hermione pretends they aren't, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Hermione and Seamus are BFF's, Humor, M/M, Romance, Seamus-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 00:49:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13043052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everytuesday/pseuds/everytuesday
Summary: Dean is Muggle-born, and somehow Seamus is the one who tells him about the Forest of Dean.OR in which Seamus has a crush on his best (and straight) friend Dean, Dean isnotbut he is as blind as an owl, and Hermione is the one who finally blessed these two idiots, thank her very much.





	Forest (grove and nature reserve) of Dean

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Sometimes I feel so uncertain and anxiety writing in this fandom and yet — I still do. But isn't this Irish gorgeous worth a try? I bet he is.
> 
> Quick warning: I’m not a native, so expect mistakes. Don't hesitate to tell me about them, though! I try my best to check on this story, and then re-checked, and again, but... yea.
> 
> Also, this will be a short (three-chaptered) story. Kind of romcom with a bit misunderstanding and awkwardness. No tissues necessary, I promise :)

Dean is Muggle-born, and somehow Seamus is the one who tells him about the Forest of Dean.

 

*****

 

 

Seamus finds out about it when he sits in the Gryffindor common room, yawning without even trying to hide it. Or, come to that, without even trying to hide _behind_ his Arithmancy book and pretends his purposes are purely academic.

Hermione, on the other hand, every now and then compares with her countless synopses, memorises formulas and, of course, gets on Seamus' nerves.

When he signs loudly at least for the tenth time in the last half an hour, her monotonous mumble stops. Hermione looks up from her _New Theory of Arithmancy_.

“What?” she asks, glaring at him.

“Oh,” Seamus just shrugs, “Nothing.”

Hermione rolls her eyes. The rustle of pages resumes.

Seamus starts drumming with his fingers on the table, tapping the well-known for every Gryffindor rhythm with his foot.

 

_Weasley is our King,_

_Weasley is our King,_

_He is sexy-boy indeed_

 

Well, maybe the last part is an unofficial continuation of the chant. The boys with Harry as their leader refuse to include it because of some censorship. Or because of they're all pussy and scare to admire their ultimate love to this ass. In every sense of the word.

“You wanted to tell me something,” Hermione reminds him, lowering her voice the way McGonagall always does. Scary but cool nonetheless. “ _Seamus_.”

If only Seamus has got a kink with the whole teacher-student dynamic! Or, if he could have got a hard-on for girls.

Hermione definitely will be his first choice.

“Hmm, no?? Numbers, money, gold, leprechauns… It's in my blood.”

“There are three pints of beer in your blood,” Hermione retorts. “And that's just what I know.”

Seamus won't deny the truth. After all, why the hell do they need the weekends for, right?

The point is that the common room is almost empty. Most Gryffindors are now in Hogsmeade, some of them go to Quidditch practice, some of them have got a detention with Filch, especially desperate with Snape. And only Seamus and Hermione should prepare for their mid-term Arithmancy exam on this Monday.

Seamus isn't sure he even wants to work as a Curse Breaker anymore. Not after he found out that Bill, his long-time crush, hooked up with Fleur Delacour, and the only known Gryffindor who attended the Arithmancy classes beyond Hermione was Percy Weasley.

“Fair 'nuff,” Seamus answers. He settles in the chair cosily and joins his hands in prayer. “So I ask— No. I _pray_ for your mercy, the smartest of the witches that have seen the walls of this castle since Rowena's! Pick up my skinny ass from the bottom of ignorance. Otherwise, I venture to share the infamous fate of Marcus Flint.”

Hermione doesn't seem touched or impressed by his speech. She's not keen to improve his achievement either.

“Seriously, Hermione,” Seamus can't give up this easily. “Sometimes I think it's just a troll gets in me. And before I know I've already taken Arithmancy classes. 'Cause if not, I dunno, why now? With my OWLs on other subjects I'd rather turn _into_ newt than actually pass the exam and find a job _at all_.”

Seamus signs dramatically.

“The dreams, in which I shower my boy with Galleons, may never come true.” He pushes his chair towards Hermione's. “ _Please_.”

“Okay,” Hermione finally agrees, then smiles. “But only if by _your boy_ you don't mean Ron.”

Seamus puts his hands up if to say _‘Pass’_. That Weasley-Express is certainly comes to the heterosexual depot.

“By the way, I recommend you to change your date-to-death plan and kick grand theft out of it before it is too late,” she teases. “What about the Royal Forest of Dean? I've been there with my parents. A very picturesque place. He's going to love it.”

“Yeah, right,” Seamus nods firmly.

“The air isn't as stale as in Azkaban. And there aren't so many people to stop you kissing shamelessly—”

“Oh-wow, _Granger_ ,” Seamus smiles devilishly. “The Irish men don't know whatta shame is you talk about here. But, anyway, you made me wonder what—”

“Don't even start,” she interrupts quickly.

“What,” he repeats, his grin gets wider, “will Ron say about your o-ho-homosexual fantasies you—”

“Shut up, Seamus. My God!” Hermione turns away, hiding her flushed face behind a pile of books. “We've got an exam tomorrow. I need to study. You too, actually. But if you want—”

“Of course, I _want_ , Hermione. Dean's top,” Seamus starts tick off points on his fingers as he speaks. “Dean's bottom,” he pauses. “Dean's—”

Hermione shuts him down by elementary _Silencio_.

He mumbles, waving his arms, and Hermione laughs almost to tears. Soon, Seamus calms down and only then finds his voice again. They are moving to express studying.

Seamus is hopeless, who should know better than him, but Hermione clearly has a talent. And she also has a patience to explain him the Arithmancy's basics, and do it again, and again, and again. And she's not even killed Seamus in the process with one of those ridiculously heavy books — which he's just had to memorise — preliminarily chopping his corpse and digging it under the Whomping Willow.

“Thanks,” Seamus finally says and Hermione looks confused.

They have more than an hour handling their Arithmancy tasks — Seamus with mixed success — and during that barely exchanged a few words with each other.

“For what, exactly?”

“Your help.”

“No problem,” Hermione replies.

“And for your idea. Y'know,” Seamus hesitates. “With the Forest of Dean.”

“Okay.”

There's a silence between them. And Seamus is already returning to his synopses when Hermione speaks again.

“He's mad about you. So no matter where your date will be, in the park or in the Shrieking Shack.”

“Are you trying to said Dean will shriek like a bitch with, under and _because of_ me anyway?”

“Exactly my words,” she answers sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

“Now I should be okay.”

Hermione doesn't even bother to reply. Seamus bites his cheek from the inside, hiding the smile.

Even if he knows Dean's relationship with Ginny are long gone, he never stops thinking, whether his animal magnetism is enough to compensate the lack of vagina.


End file.
